Date Auction

I participated in a date auction last weekend. I was pretty nervous about participating in the auction. I don't have much confidence in myself lately. I invited a few of my friends to come to the auction. I figured that if nobody bid on me they could at least throw together a few buck and bid on me themselves. I invited a girl that I have been crushing on lately. She has two kids that are really cute. Being with her has been one of the first times in my life that I thought that I might want to settle down finally. But, alas I got the "let's just be friends line."

My friends came to the date auction after I tried to explain to them the concept of a date auction. In Japan they don't have date auctions unless they are being put on by foreigners. While I was at one of my schools the previous week, I tried to explain to one of the Japanese teachers the concept of a date auction for about 20 minutes. He finally came around to the idea, but still didn't have any frame of reference to know what would happen at this kind of event.

I was pretty nervous waiting around for my number to be called. I mingled around with a few people and talked with my friends. When it was my turn up on the stage I jumped up on the stage and went all out. I pulled off my tie and threw it between my legs, trying to do my best impression of a stripper, I danced around trying to look as sexy as possible, and in the end it must have worked pretty well.

I must have been in a nervous coma because when I came back to I realized that one of my friends had spent ¥18,000 for a date with me. I kind of felt bad. I don't think I am worth that much money! From what I heard, I guess she wasn't the only person bidding on me. She was just the one with the biggest pockets.

The Debate Team

Today marks the beginning of the debate season for me. I should mark myself lucky because, unlike the other teams, we are just starting to practice. The teams that we will competing against have been practicing for over two months. Just like last year the staff at my school has put off teaching or preparing our students until the last minute. I have been teaching the basics to my students in class, but they also need to have support from the other English teachers.

I was rewarded with a good group of girls who seem to really want to try to do their best. I did let them know the situation before starting today. I am not sure if that was a good thing or bad. Should I have given them some false hope, or the idea that they are on equal footing with the other teams? Or, should I present the the truth unadulterated? I think that if I was in their shoes I would want to be treated like an adult, or at least a person who can handle the reality of the situation.

I had trouble sleeping last night. It could be because I was perfectly rested or it could be because my brain has been working at a million miles an hour lately. I really need something to calm myself down sometimes. I tried my yogic breathing, reading, and other tried and true methods that "guys" revert to occasionally. Sleep didn't come until around 4 o'clock or so. I might not have fallen asleep at all. I recall waking to my alarm just after dawn. The cool breeze gave me a boost of energy. It has been difficult for me to keep my eyes open today, but, it being 11 o'clock, I think that I might be able to sleep normally tonight.

I got shit to do tomorrow, so I need to be ripe and ready.

Rainy Monday

A rainy Monday is meant for sleeping and dreaming. I have long believed that I am not meant for work. Humans are not meant for work. The word has lost all meaning in our world. Most people do not really "work," the sit at a desk wasting time. Our time is never really used for much good. We sit in a comma waiting for 4:10, the first possible moment we can leave our hell.

I understand that I should not complain about a job that doesn't require any "work." I just recite English to students. When I am not doing that I sit at my desk and search the internet, read books, or study Japanese. It is not my job in essence that is the problem. It is the concept of jobs that I don't seem to enjoy.


Loafing around provides our brains with the power to handle every other day. Watching movies and taking naps all day these are the things that give us happiness. Going out shopping or having lunch lead to thinking about money and work. But, listlessly rumbling around the house gives people time to think about what life should really be like.

I love the rain. The sound and smell of the rain wash my mind of all worries. Waking up from a nap to the gentle sounds of rain pattering against my porch, lubricate my future plans. Gently waking up from sleep and moving slowly towards wakefulness makes it easy for me to think about the future. Usually, I think of the future only when it is hovering over my head. I think about it only when I need to, but leisurely thinking about it during the day gives me hope for the future.

Fall is here.

These past few days have been beautiful in Japan. After the sweltering summer, this fall has started in a very calm, cool way. With the recent ebb and flow of the weather around us I have really wished to write more about my thoughts concerning weather. I, hopefully, am not the only person in the whole world who believes that this change in weather is man-made. I wish that my thoughts on this were the fiction of futuristic tales, but I don't think that is true. But, the real fiction is that we have no warriors, no leaders, no humans to stand up and shout to the heavens that this is bad. This is going to do nothing but change our entire civilization, for the worse. It is with these thoughts that I ponder upon my place in this system of ineptitude.

Last week, I went for a constitutional downtown. With friends in tow, we practiced our talents in tasting temptuous tankards. I have been fighting the gods of drink for some time now, but I still have yet to find a reason to the challengers. Usually, I end up face down in my bed moaning for other gods to come and show me the way towards the door. On this such occasion, I sat down for a while to drink my nectar. A moment later a couple of Japanese fellows strolled by and wanted some company. Jollily, I shared my company and my sustinence with them.

The older of the two gentlemen was taken aback by my use of Japanese. His younger friend was very talkative and gracious. The more that we spoke, the more the elder was angered. I am never quite sure how to take peoples reactions to my being foreign. Should I be sympathetic. Or, perhaps, should I strip my shirt and show my true form. America-man: to fight anybody and everybody, to speak before I think, and to call every god-damned kettle in the tea shop black, while I sit on the stove ignoring my own ebony color.

High School Sports Day

Springtime in Japan brings many things. The cherry blossoms, the new school year, Golden Week (a five day holiday), and, in many places, the school Sports Day. From what I have learned, these events started around WWII. They are a way for Japanese students to show school spirit, athletic fitness, how to follow instructions, and, most importantly, how to be a part of the group. The later of these actions is probably the single most stereotypical characteristic of Japanese society. But, that doesn't mean that there isn't some truth in the stereotype.

For the past few weeks, my students have been practicing for the school Sports Day. Usually, the activities that occur are similar from school to school, including: running (100 m. and relay events), tug of war, a game where large bamboo poles are placed at the center of a field and two teams struggle to take as many poles as possible to their side of the field, cheer leading, and finally the Mass Game.

The Mass Game is a choreographed exercise. Which consists mostly of cheer leading pyramids of various sizes. There are 100's of different poses and the students move around the field to make a large scale design of some kind. This is, by far, my least favorite of all of the events. It is interesting to look at from a crowd perspective, but as a teacher at the school and a person who cherishes individuality, I think that this event is a waste of time and a form of group-think brainwashing.

The Mass Game reminds me of the annual Mass Games that North Korea puts on every year. These Games are a way to control the perception of North Korea, both internally and abroad. North Korea uses the games as an exhibition of national strength and solidarity. To show the country's (purported) strength, and to show the rest of the world the North Korean peoples' appreciation towards their leadership.

Many of these same characteristics are a part of the Mass Games in Japanese high schools. Nationalism, group strength, and doing things to appease parents, teachers, and community leaders.

My biggest problem with the Mass Games event is the overt sexism of the whole event. The boys must participate without shirts on. The girls are sandwiched on either side of the boys, usually performing tasks that are much simpler than the exercises the boys are charged with performing. Usually, the whole event is prefaced by the girls, with pom-pomed hands, dancing and cheering to Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend."

I know, as a foreigner, I am not able to understand all of the nuances of the sports day events, but as a conscious human being I can see the cro-magnon, ancient beginning of the event still peppered throughout the whole sports program. As an overweight American, I shouldn't be questioning any kind of event that aggrandizes exercise and sporting events.

There are many redeeming qualities about the event; teamwork, exercise, and traditional games and dancing. One of my favorite events is the ouendan cheer leading. This is a uniquely Japanese type of cheer leading, or dance. The students work very hard to get all of the moves in rhythm to the beat of a taiko drum. And, it is really amazing that the students are able to coordinate these dances in such a short amount of time, especially with the school year just beginning.

It is truly a unique event. I enjoyed the event very much. But, there are some questions of equality that should be pondered and discussed.

Thanksgiving in Japan

Another year has passed and I am still biking my way through Japan. It seems like only yesterday that I left with a heart full of ambition and a mind filled with meaningless trivia. I have spent a fair share of my time here on airplane rides to and from America. I have realized, during those holidays I am not allowed to take off because I have classes to teach, that I have a soft spot in my heart for Thanksgiving.

Growing up Catholic and meandering more towards sympathetic atheism, I have realized that I really like Thanksgiving because it gives Americans a holiday that we don't have to trace back to a super religious or overly patriotic event in our nations history. The holiday started in this country during a time when we, as a people, were still babies hanging on to our mother's tits for nourishment. Our only holiday that takes place during a time when we didn't have American history, we had the history of the nations that sent their explorers to this land. We celebrate a holiday that takes place during a time when North America was still a unique place of many different cultures and languages. I try to remember this holiday in my mind. The time when we were the starving heathens who didn't know how to survive in this new land. We were saved, we grew, and we enslaved everything that we could: men, women, children, electricity, the atom, etc.

I had my second Thanksgiving in Japan. I was lucky enough to go to a nice party. We did have turkey this year, even though last years chicken was just as good. I went to Zane's house, he is our Prefectural Advisor. He was good enough to have about 10 to 15 people at his cozy home. I went to this Thanksgiving with Kimi, my girlfriend. I was excited to go and I was ready to have a good time. As the night moved progressed I started to think more about the wonderful Thanksgivings of my years in Omaha.

I thought of going to my Uncle Charlie's house when I was a young boy. His house seemed like an old fashion mansion, not exactly large but stately. My Uncle Charlie has always been a strong, intelligent figure in my life. I have a very intelligent family, but my Uncle Charlie seemed to know so many people and so many interesting stories. Before moving to the "country," while still living in the "city," my Uncle made the stories of small town life seem so interesting. The vivid way that he would tell stories about the clients he served as a lawyer, weaved itself permanently into my imagination.

While watching football on TV, the smell of my Uncle's pipe would permeate the house. Much like the forgotten ancestors our European counterparts shuffled away onto reservations, I would hear Charlie, my Grandpa Smith, and my father tell these perfectly narrated stories about small town life. With the smell of tabacco wafting through the room, instead of a teepee we sat on a plush couch listening to our elders. A family of great story tellers is better than any holiday special Disney could create.

I also loved going into my Uncle's basement, which was another shrine to who I am as a person. The three days a year that I was able to move from my caste to another brought me into this wonderful house of games. Growing up in South Omaha, I didn't have as much opporotunity to mingle with different classes of people. Namely those people who owned and purchased video games. At the Catholic school that I attended there were many kids with video games. I remember vividly hearing about the kids talking about levels and warps. I also remember not ever being too interested in the kids from my school, or, at least, they weren't interested in me. I only recall having 1 friend the whole time I was at that school, and he didn't even have video games. I regress...

Those few high holidays that allowed us all to meet at Uncle Charlie's house, were my favorites. I used to pray that we didn't have to go to Aunt Ann's house, not for any malice towards Aunt Ann, but her house was boring ass hell. Charlie's house had a pinball machine and a Nintendo. Just watching the older kids play was a glorious event to me, but those few times that everybody would leave the room and I was left of touch this sacred machine. I remember kids talking about that little grey box in hushed voices inside Tuesday church, saints and Christ himself were not spoken about so reverentially.

Even in recent years, without as much emphasis placed on video game entertainment, I always love going to my Uncle Charlie's house for Thanksgiving. The conversation is always interesting. My grandmother's prays last for 10's of minutes, usually with scattered giggles by many at the table, followed by swift kicks.

I love Thanksgiving. I love being around people I love on Thanksgiving. Because of this, this year's Thanksgiving was extremely depressing. While there was one person there that I love, most of the other people lie on a spectrum of hot and cold. A couple of the people I would place my feelings for them just past warm, but others bob about like ice cubes. I wanted to have my own Thanksgiving party, to surround myself with people I love and tell them all about why I love them and how they have shaped my life in the past year. But, I didn't. And, at this perfectly wonderful Thanksgiving party I couldn't tell the one person who I do love, why this year has been so good for me.

I had a good time at the party, but like a venereal disease, sometimes things look okay but in reality things might not be okay under it all. While talking, eating, and drinking, underneath I started to feel more depressed about missing Thanksgiving. I drank, and drank until 6 cans of beer, a bottle of Johnny Walker Black, and a partial bottle of whiskey another guy brought were ingested.

What a nice Catholic way of dealing with depression! Keep it all inside and let the whiskey take care of it. Well, Dr. Grey, of Grey's Anatomy fame, took care of me the rest of the night. Running between my futon and the bathroom for the rest of the night made all thoughts of Thanksgiving disappear, along with my turkey dinner.

Actually, Kimi was the one who took care of me the rest of the night. Thanks Kimi. I'm not sure if I said it during our "What are you thankful for?" game, but I am thankful for you. I am thankful because every other day of the year that I miss America, I don't miss it as much when you are around. Thanks.

What's new?

My updates have become...nonexistent. Here is an attempt to try again. Like much of my writing, except for my poetry, it usually becomes like a drive down Ft. Crook Rd, lots of stop and start. I have been trying to do a chronology of my time in Japan and I have come to understand that that is impossible. I don't have the time. I am busy. I am also a really important person. Really.

The cherry blossoms were out in Japan a few weeks ago. I sent an e-mail to some people with pictures of the beautiful picnic that I attended with a friend of mine. We ate good food, played catch, my friend played guitar, and we looked at all of the beautiful cherry blossoms. Mind, this was while we were inside the largest active caldera in the world. A word doesn't come close to describing the beauty of the scene or the feelings of the activity.

Later that week, my friend Austin from South Africa had a birthday party in a cabin out in the mountains. I understood that we would be camping out, which to me means there will be some roughness to the whole experience. I was wrong. I thought that Americans took it easy with there campers and indoor toilets, but that is nothing compared to the Japanese.

The cabin was two stories, there was a shower and toilet, a air conditioner, a heater, pots and pans, and futons for everybody. We brought all of our gear inside and we proceeded to celebrate. It was around two o'clock in the afternoon when we arrived and we started to eat and drink. We played drinking game and a couple of the girls started preparing some of the food that we would be cooking on the bar-b-que.

A few other people showed up throughout the night and by the time we were cooking, at the large covered community picnic area, we had grown to a group of fifteen. We cooked and drank and sang songs, it was all very bohemian. I spent a lot of time tending to the meat on the fire, drinking my grab bag of beers that I brought from my fridge, and chatting with a girl named Kimi (I have come to find that I am the perfect size for Japanese women. Who knew?).

After cleaning up at the picnic area, we headed back to the cabin. A couple more people showed up and we continued to drink. The cake was brought out with a nice rendition of Happy Birthday, off key in all of the right spots. I stepped over to the small speakers that Austin brought and started to play DJ. The girls wanted hip-hop and I obliged. Even Japanese girls, who are known for being shy, couldn't help but shake their asses. I even got up and showed them some funky South O shit.

We continued to play games, talk and, at one point, Austin and Jay, a Canadian, went outside and went hiking. Things started to wind down when this happened, the birthday boy was out in the mountains, and we were all getting pretty tired. Kimi told me that she and another girl wanted to sleep next to me because one of our crew was getting a little creepier as time passed. We took our things to the loft. The other girl didn't come but Kimi and I slept up there with another couple and Holly, a friend of my friend Chris'.

The next day we woke, cleaned the cabin and just goofed off. We decided to go to an onsen, to sweat the alcohol out of our systems. We all needed a bath too, I'm sure. It was nice sitting outside shootin' the breeze with these guys. We spoke about the impending rocket launch from North Korea, which was probably happening at that moment. We talked about our homes, which are all completely different from the next. We also talked about the future. I am being vague because sometimes times like these should be kept close, instead of disseminated in a blog. We finished and walked outside waiting for the rest of our crew to join us. We planned to go get something to eat, but we all had different plans. So we parted.

Holly, Kimi, and I went to Minami-Aso. We had bagel sandwiches for lunch and we visited our friend Soh, Kimi didn't know Soh but Holly and I did. We spent the rest of the afternoon at Soh's cafe, drinking coffee and eating chiffon cake. We went for a walk; Holly took some pictures, and Kimi and I flirted with each other. We walked back towards Soh's cafe and I picked a piece of grass and whistled with it, Kimi tried and failed, and Holly had her own way of whistling with grass. We taught Kimi how to do the same, but she had better luck with Holly's method. As a train pulled into the station, three twenty somethings, two foreigners and a Japanese girl, were using grass to make whistle sounds and giggling like we were 10 years old.

We made plans to have a party for our friend Chris, who was returning from his wedding that day. It was about 6:30, and I didn't sleep much the night before, so we all decided to part ways.

Another great weekend under my belt, and really it was part of a great week linking into a great few months. I have left myself open to every experience that presents itself, even though sometimes I just want to sit at home and play video games or sleep, I have enjoyed nearly every moment of time that I have spent in Japan. I am expanding as a person, and I am searching still for whatever it may be that I am looking for. It hasn't presented itself yet but I am a part of an adventure everyday that I am here, even if at the end of my time here I don't find that something, I won't have any regrets. "Let's all enjoy English," what Paul-sensei says to his students. Let's all enjoy Japan! Ne?